The NFL is all about spreading the joys of football to the world, but some things are still very confusing for a fan from abroad. One British fan had some serious questions about why football is the way it is following the AFC and NFC Championship games — and honestly, he nails it.
Let me assure our British brethren that we want these things too. Trust me, we know these are all issues in the NFL. A sensible league would listen to fans and try to fix them, but this isn’t a sensible league — and fans are made to feel like we have zero agency in the NFL, because we’ll keep watching football no matter what.
- Kickoffs: Yes, they suck at they’re pointless now. They either achieve nothing or they’re stupidly dangerous, and there’s no middle ground.
- Penalties: Yes, they’re unfair. They’re also intentionally unfair because the league’s goal is to make games higher scoring, because they think we’re not nuanced enough to appreciate low scoring games. Okay, we’re not — but the point remains.
- Lack of technology: Yeah, we don’t know why we still use old men with chains for distance.
- Commentators suck: They sure do, and we just lost one of the only ones worth a damn in Greg Olsen so Tom Brady can take his job.
Thank you for pointing out everything wrong with our national sport.